cheaperthanacupofjoe:

Mom: Did they make the Yoo-Hoo?

Me: (pause) Uhhh… who?

Mom: The juice.

Me: What? (pause) First of all, it’s not juice, it’s chocolate milk… and secondly, who are you talking about?

Mom: The Juice!!

Me: (long pause) Oh my god… the Jews??

Mom: Yes!

Me: Wow… ok, too far… and why…

lotusmodern:

Bill Murray. National treasure.

cheaperthanacupofjoe:

(Mom walks into the living room spraying air freshener)

Mom: Did you farting again? 

Me: It’s these boiled eggs. 

(continues to spray)

Mom: You sure??

Me: YES!!

Mom: Whatever. (pause) Is that… an injury jolly?

Me: (pause) Yes, that’s Angelina Jolie. 

Mom: What moobie is this?

Me: (sigh) Salt! 

Mom: You go get it! 

Me: (sigh) No, the movie is called Salt.

Mom: (pause) Ok lazy boy… I go get it for you, ok? 

Me: (deep sigh) 

(via deadlypotato)

cheaperthanacupofjoe:

Then I’ll Handel this till he gets Bach…

theswami:

That actually does look like him.

cheaperthanacupofjoe:

If you thought scissors were hard to spell, try drawing a pair.